Dancing My Way To Happiness: Salsa Edition

I’m attempting the ‘yes lifestyle’. It’s where I say yes as often as I can to new and exciting experiences where before I would have said no out of fear.

So, as a bid to get me out of the flat for an evening and socialise with new people, each Tuesday the Mansion Lions Hotel in Eastbourne hosts salsa dancing lessons to complete beginners right up to those who are more advanced (doing spins and shit).

It was an opportunity which arose when my friend Ruth offered up the evening one afternoon while I was feeling crappy and I took a leap of faith and agreed to give it a go. What was I going to lose? An evening alone at home again? Good.

I’m not going to lie and say that the initial walk down to the hotel wasn’t rife with um’s and err maybe I should turn around’s but I pursued and did the one thing that day that scared me shitless.

And I can safely say, I am so proud of myself for going. I can say I’ve learnt the basic steps and would be able, since I’m the woman and can be led in the dance, to take my new found steps into a salsa club which opens up so many new and exciting ventures for the future.

It’s a shame I didn’t have a partner to go with as it’s something that would really suit a couple, however, it didn’t matter. Since you’re constantly swapping and changing partners in the class anyway I was able to go as a solo dancer.

It was an incredibly fun evening and it was one of the first days in the week where I’ve actually felt truly comfortable in my own skin which is something I haven’t been able to say in a long time. I feel like I’m beginning to come to terms with what it means to be me and how I am outside of a relationship and surprisingly, I’m getting on quite well with her.

I’m beginning to see what they mean when they say you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else because although I have felt love before, it’s always been shadowed with this concern that I am somehow not good enough but I’m starting to think that single life has changed that outlook.

So I never thought I’d say this but thank you to my ex. You were the catalyst which forced me into a situation I needed to be in but wouldn’t necessarily put myself in. I’m learning who I am and it wouldn’t have happened without you.

So yes, ultimately heartbreak led me here but I feel like I’m slowly but surely putting the pieces of myself back together, only this time in a different order. Maybe this time the puzzle pieces will align in the right places.

And who knows what the future will hold. There may be the opportunity to love again, but only when I am truly comfortable with myself.

Until next time.

P.s for those of you who fancy it, why not join me at salsa this Tuesday 7.30pm at Mansion Lions Hotel, Eastbourne?

Saying “Yes” To Everything?

I’ve found someone who matches my unbridled enthusiasm for life which has meant that the past few months have been jam packed with activity after activity which has been fantastic. However, as much fun as we’ve had socialising and generally enjoying life, it has meant the day to day things have rather lost their scheduling.

As someone who likes to plan, my spontaneous lifestyle of late has been rather refreshing. It has allowed me to let loose, learn that it’s not the end of the world if someone is a few minutes late, or changes plans at the last minute. Life is about adaptation, learning to be malleable and go with the flow and it has transformed me into someone I like very much.

There’s many a film, including Yes Man, which pose the question, what if you said yes to everything. Obviously blown out of proportion into something made for the big screen, the concept is still one worth considering.

Saying yes to more things instead of squirrelling away in my flat, for instance, has led me to new friendships, and exciting experiences. Saying “fuck it” and doing it, i.e booking a weeks holiday in Portugal on a whim, is also a great conversation starter and has been the beginning of a great adventure with Darren.

However fun the adventure is, we have to deal with the monotonous in order to make way for new experiences. We can’t travel the world without fresh pants after all.

We need to balance the mundane and the exciting in order to live a fulfilled and fruitful life and if that means spending Monday evenings washing my clothes and cracking out the ironing board then so be it. There will be other evenings for adventures.

Life, I believe, is about finding balance.

Until next time.

Overcoming Holiday Blues & Spring Cleaning

Let’s be honest, no one likes returning to reality after a memorable holiday, where you’ve eaten and drunk like kings and queens, explored new and interesting places, and expanded your cultural horizons.

Normal life can seem incredibly dull after an adventure of a lifetime.

(Just look at how happy I was to be fed swordfish!)

We can feel the blues beginning to creep in as our holiday buzz dies down, the “how was your holiday” question becomes less frequently spoken until eventually it dissipates entirely and the only thing left to reminisce with are the photos and videos you took of your trip.

There will be things you’d forgotten about doing: the washing, the cooking, even paying the bills and suddenly, not even a week back home, and you’ve been thrust into chores that seem to have a vendetta against you.

Battling against the tide, you finally reach the apex, the top of the mountain and it feels blissful. Suddenly you feel on top of everything: the chores have been completed and you can finally relax for a while.

This week, I have been firmly thrust into my holiday blues and have decided to combat this by keeping busy, especially when it comes to my spring cleaning.

When you’re someone who actively follows fashion trends, purchasing clothes like you actually have money to spend, it can mean your wardrobe can end up looking a bit cluttered. The best solution: a tidy up, and a ruthless dispatch of unwanted garments.

After all, did you know that there are places that will pay you for your textiles? When clearing out your closet, why not earn a little bit of coffee money in doing so? You’re not only helping the environment by not clogging up rubbish tips, but you’re also giving to charity and getting paid for it. It’s a win win situation.

My best method for spring cleaning? A try on day.

Pick a day when you’re feeling body positive otherwise this method won’t work, especially for those body con dresses, and try on each item of clothing, see what items it pairs with and create outfit ideas with what you have.

If you have an odd top or skirt that doesn’t seem to go with anything you have, or makes you feel uncomfortable wearing it, then ditch the thing- you don’t need it, I promise. They’ll be other clothes to replace it, especially if it’s getting old or over worn.

Another tip is to look at the age of your garments, you may have a top or a dress in your wardrobe that you feel has been a staple throughout the years but the problem with well worn clothes is that they show their age and, unlike wine, do not age well.

Ditch the scraggly old baggy tees, the age old faithful, the see-through dresses.

The idea is to scrape back your cluttered wardrobe into something more manageable so we don’t look inside thinking we have nothing to wear.

I hope this post has inspired you to do some of your own spring cleaning.

For those it didn’t inspire and for those it didn’t solve the holiday blues for, maybe check out the latest deals through icelolly.com?

Until next time.

Travel Diaries: Portimão, Portugal

It’s day five of our seven day adventure to Portimao in Portugal and I can safely say that we have explored the local town and tasted the local beverages to such an extent that this morning has been a bit of a wipe out for both of us.

It has been a great adventure so far, one full of swimming, beach excursions, and karaoke (which is no surprise if you know my partner Darren). The only disappointment was the lack in boat tours as the time of year and directions of the waves meant that entering the caves was dangerous and therefore not viable for the tour guides. On the positive side, it left us with some additional wedge which we could spend elsewhere (edit: we spent it on food!).

Since being here, we’ve witnessed a decathlon, attempted to speak Portuguese, and made friends with the local bar staff. From experience, I’ve noticed that the locals here are incredibly accommodating and are more than happy to help, far more than in countries such as France (I visited Paris back in 2016 and while I loved it, the people were totally different).

Admittedly, the offer of pot or cocaine from the gypsies has been plentiful but it’s not something to be concerned over if you are thinking of visiting as they are persistent but accept a firm no as an answer.

We, without meaning to sound bigheaded, have seemingly been the life of the party, especially since our hotel is quite reserved and posh (its 4 star after all) and the general age being much older than either of us. Regardless, Saturday evening was spectacular fun and we danced the night away to the cover band in the hotel, before exploring the local nightlife, settling on a bar called boogie where I watched as Darren sang his little heart out (out of time, mind).

The nightclubs were free to enter and played a mixture of popular English, as well as, Portuguese tunes but although full of life and dancing, is not somewhere I’d recommend visiting if you’re older than 21, unless of course you’re a clubbing seasonal professional.

Overall it has been a wonderfully refreshing break and I would be happy to visit the Algarve again.

Until next time.

Creating Your Own Destiny- Making Changes To A Stagnant Adventure

Another weekend has passed and we are well and truly progressing into the year like a train heading full speed down a track.

Sometimes it can feel as if our lives are on a set route, a track of destiny if you will, and it can be hard to see a change in circumstance, without fantasising about unreasonable and unlikely change.

Let’s be honest, the likelihood of me winning the lottery is slim at best, especially when I’m expecting to win without even having bought a ticket, but for some people believing in the unreasonable is what gets them through the day.

It’s no surprise that as a twenty something millennial, I’m broke as hell and each pay-check goes straight out of my bank to pay for the necessities (but we won’t go on a rant about that).

Even though money is an issue for me, the lack of it does not hinder my experiences too much. For instance, I’m still going on holiday, I still go out on a weekend, and I’m generally enjoying life. So much so that I had a pretty subdued conversation with my partner and friend about how much my nails had grown and how long and shiny nails are a sign of mental and physical well-being.

So it’s safe to assume that I’m not overly concerned about what hindrances life has to throw at me but regardless, there are a few things I would change, the biggest being my financial circumstance. A lot of people my age, as said before, have a similar issue, and think nothing of change, assuming life will resolve itself, or somehow your circumstance will change without you putting a shred of effort in.

Simply put, you cannot expect change if you sit on your bum all day and plod through life. Being proactive is the key and in order to change my circumstance, I have asked for an appraisal at the company I work for in the hope that we can discuss not only my work load and responsibilities but also my rate of pay, in the hope they will see the hard work and effort I have put into the company in the past near year.

Whether or not anything comes of my meeting we will have to see, but at least I have taken a step forward and tried to at least make my situation less stagnant.

Whether its finances you’re worried about, or something different, like a stagnant romantic relationship with a partner, or a dry relationship with a family member, or something else entirely, just know that it only takes you saying or doing something to change your path.

It may not produce the fantasised event playing in your head, like my fantasy of winning the lottery, owning yachts and various houses filled with cuddly dogs, but it will change up your day to day life, shape it into something more manageable, something to be proud of.

At the end of the day, our lives are malleable, like putty, and we can adapt and change what we’re working with to produce a piece of art that is not only unique to us but that is a great representative of our adventure.

Next week I shall be posting snaps and a more fashion based post from my holiday in Portugal so please follow this blog, or my insta story @kirstyawriter to see these inspirational outfit and travel ideas.

Until next time.

How To Pack For Vacation (Beach Destinations)

I’m currently, at the time of writing this on Sunday morning, lying hungover and feeling the need for a greasy bacon and egg based breakfast. As I lay here I’m also wondering about the things I have left to do before my holiday in under a fortnights time.

Thanks to a certain special someone, I have already packed my suitcase and have made sure my passport is in date (better late than never).

I am so excited to wear my new clothes from Religion Clothing where it’s not raining and somewhere it’s warm enough to rock the floaty maxi dresses without having to worry about thick opaque tights or coats.

This week I want to run through my checklist for what to pack when going on holiday to a beach destination as it not only helps you wonderful readers construct your own fashion based checklist but also helps me to remember what I need to take with me on my week trip abroad to Portugal.

Obviously having enough outfits for the week is a must and aside from the collection of underwear, I also needed to make sure I had a few swimwear items and outfits for the week for a multitude of activities ranging from lounging by the pool, to dinner out at a few restaurants, to hiking to new and exciting destinations so I’ve packed the following:

Religion Paradise Maxi Dress in grey and raw lemon

Religion Virtual Maxi Dress

Religion Thrive tunic dress in a black floral pattern (timid dark print).

My M&Co white and black maxi dress which I also wore to Poland last year.

A yellow cropped tee and high waisted maxi skirt in black complete with sexy side slit.

White shorts that look a bit like a doily, and a cropped Coke tee from Primark.

A navy blue bikini which reacts to water and sparkles (making me feel like a mermaid) from Next.

A red swimming costume from next that reminds me of the old Special K adverts.

A neon coral pink kaftan to throw over my swimming wear.

Two pairs of colourful flip flops (90p from Primark!)

A pair of white canvas style shoes for longer walks.

Photos of said outfits will be in the next blog post while I am away.

I’ve yet to finish packing and also have yet to pack the other necessities but I have every intention of packing, sun tan lotion, toiletries, makeup, etc, as well as a bag to take as hand luggage for all my medication (epipens, inhalers, etc), my purse and snacks (because no one likes a cranky hungry Kirsty).

When I’m out and about in Portugal I am hoping to share my adventures on here as well as on my Instagram story so if you’re not following me on there and want to see what it’s like over in Portugal then follow me @kirstyawriter on Instagram and join the family.

I hope this has been an inspiring read and you are just as excited as I am for the summer to arrive and the new fashion trends to arrive.

Until next time.

Travel Diaries: Tucked Away Walks In Eastbourne

Sometimes the best adventures are tucked away in hidden corners of your hometown, waiting to be explored, in unexpected places. Eastbourne is no exception.

With the distant sound of the church bells and the bitter winter wind biting at my finger tips, we explored the tiny unseen crevices of the town from the small park barely two minutes from home, to leftover ruins of what once was a tower of significance.

With my more than able tour guide, I was shown a small hilly path that led up into the downs and into a beautiful forest, the light pouring through the trees, waving with the leaves, sparkling with life.

This was possibly the most unexpected Sunday I’ve had in a long time. Not only did I attend church to see what it was like (the church itself was gorgeous, the service- not so much- FYI I’m an atheist) but the above mentioned forest was littered with dogs, meaning I got my fair share of dog fussing which brought my mood up even further.

Sometimes all we need in life is to take a break from screens, leave our homes and go exploring as the memories we create in doing so will last a lifetime.

Until next time.

NB sorry for the lack of update the past week, I haven’t been very well and have had a lot of personal things going on. Regular scheduling should resume from now on.

Travel Diaries: London, Ally Pally & Bring Me The Horizon

When travelling to and from London, it’s always best to prepare yourself for transport delays of epic proportions. Still, it’s a worthwhile place to visit, especially, if like me, you have a gig waiting for you in the evening.

For those of you familiar with my blog, you will have seen my previous post about the wonderful Natural History Museum and will know how much of a special place in my heart it holds. It’s probably no surprise, therefore, to see another post about the city, from a more nightlife perspective.

From Eastbourne, London is just over an hour on a train, which, during the day, usually runs on time. Nighttime, however, is a different story which I can talk more about later.

For a group ticket, you’re looking at no more than £13 a ticket for a return which is more than affordable for a day out in the big English capital.

My group had a particular event in mind on our journey: the Bring Me The Horizon gig we’d been waiting for since we booked it at the whopping price tag of over £40 just over a month ago.

For those of you who don’t know, BMTH is a heavy metal band, famous for their artistic lyrics which feature a lot of heavy mental health undertones. They are a band truly screaming at life’s problems but in such a relatable way, it’s hard not to like them.

If heavy metal is not your scene then it’s probably best to avoid the band, however, our friend Lucy is not a fan but still managed to have a blast in our group’s company.

Heavy metal gigs have always held a special place in my heart, as they remind me of being a teenager, going to rock gigs with my friends. We’d mosh the night away and show up to school the next day and show each other our battle scars and share our stories of lost shoes.

I personally, had never been to Alexandra Palace before but what an absolute nightmare to get to from Victoria station!

The underground and a bus service later and we were finally in the queue.

As this is a blog that focuses on fashion as well as Travel, I thought I’d mention what gig ready outfit I was wearing: a pair of black skinny jeans from Matalan, a long sleeved but thin black and white feather print tee from Religion Clothing, as well as my bright purple hoody from the H&M men’s department (as they had all the fun colours). I paired it with my chunky heeled black ankle boots for added protection for my feet since times before wearing converse trainers have ended in stamped on toes which, let’s be honest, no one wants.

Alexandra Palace is a totally different experience to other gig venues. As you enter, the room opens up into a foyer of bars and food stalls, with faux grass in the centre for sitting. It has a festival vibe and you could easily waste the night away out here, talking with friends.

As a small warm up while we were consuming our beverages, a young lady came onto the makeshift grass stage and began her drum solo to a few popular songs. It was a nice touch and so different from other gigs I’ve been to.

Finally, we turned our attention to the main stage and entered the crowd to watch Fever 333, a band which had very Rage Against The Machine vibes and was incredibly fun to mosh to.

Unfortunately, I was out of practice and did get an elbow to the chin but I was having so much fun that I didn’t notice until I left the circle pit to rejoin my friends.

In true theatrical fashion that only a heavy metal band can present, BMTH arrived with flashing lights and column bursts of dry ice to the song Mantra and everyone lost control, dancing and jumping to the drums.

Surprisingly, there were less mosh pits during BMTH’s set in comparison to Fever 333 but there felt more love in the audience for the lyrics than anything else.

Typically though, Sam and I ended up in the thick of it, and somehow without him, I was pushed forward until I reached the barrier and was mere feet away from the lead singer: Oli Sykes. Obviously overjoyed, I persevered through the squeezing and jumping as the crowd molded together and felt the euphoria kick in.

Unfortunately, remembering the journey here, I knew I had limited time at the front before I’d have to leave and rejoin my friends at the back. But the brief time spent there was fantastic.

Having to leave before the crowds was a nice change, although slightly disappointing, but it meant we found it relatively easy to get back to the station with plenty of time, enough to pick up a Burger King before climbing onto the midnight train.

The night was tainted as the train had been replaced at Brighton with a bus service, meaning our usual hours commute was now likely to be extended considerably.

Finally, Jordan and I got home at 3 am and after two pints of water, we collapsed into a heap in bed, achey and sore from the evening’s endeavours.

Still, I would highly recommend it and if you get the chance to see Ally Pally for yourself then I would say it’s a place to visit, at least once in your life, especially if you’re craving that festival vibe without the effort of having to travel halfway across the country to do so.

Until next time.

Travel: Cabaret, TOM Brighton & Hove

There are few places in the UK renowned for their camp attitudes and open minded views. Brighton is probably one of the first places that will pop to mind and you wouldn’t be wrong.

If you’re after something a little different why not try TOM: The Old Market in Brighton for an evening of cabaret?

Personally I laughed so hard I think I may have cracked a rib but I’m not sure that was 100% the desired effect the event organisers were going for.

TOM was a small intimate venue no bigger than the size of a small cinema screen and was adorned with beautifully festive fairy lights and nature, making the place feel homely and super welcoming. The cabaret had drawn all sorts of people in but they all shared one common thing: their openness and willingness to begin a conversation with anyone.

We were slowly escorted, after maybe one too many glasses of Malbec, down to the dark and alluring stage, the purple lights setting the mood.

For those of you who don’t know what cabaret involves- and to be perfectly honest I wasn’t sure at this point- it’s a bit of comedy, some sexy burlesque, as well as music.

When Dave the Bear came on the stage- not literally, get your mind out of the gutter- he had all of our attention from the moment he opened his mouth. He was camp, his humour was dry and witty, and the euphemisms fell out of him as he introduced each act.

Two acts later, one a burlesque show featuring balloons, as well as an athletic acrobatic lesbian couple, and Dave was back with some additional heckling from none other than my Jordan.

Auntie May was my second highlight of the show, her act was a Victorian styled lady of the night riddled with syphilis who got her ukulele out to sing some comedic ballads.

Now this is the part of the show, if I’m honest, gets a little bit foggy, but Dave was out again getting his sing-a-long on, singing his best rendition of Happy Days best known from Sister Act. Who ends up with the microphone? Of course it’s Jordan.

One heavy metal screaming edition later, and the whole crowd is in tears with laughter. I think we may have even got a laugh from Dave the Bear.

Overall, it was a brilliant experience and I would heavily recommend a cabaret show near you. It’s sexy, sophisticated, and very incredibly funny.

Plus, who knows, you might win some nipple tassels like Lucy for being best dressed.

Until next time.

Thailand, MMA Fighting & How To Keep Fit

Sometimes opportunities provide us with the most interesting stories, gives us chance to speak to people we wouldn’t usually.

This week, I was lucky enough to speak to Lexi Rook, an inspirational woman about her recent experiences during her career, as well as her travelling adventures.

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TRB: So tell me a little bit about yourself? Who is Alexis Rook?

AR: I am an amateur MMA fighter aiming to turn professional and make a career out of fighting and competing. So, at the moment I am working alongside training full time until I can reap the benefits of being a professional full time paid athlete. I am currently working three different part time jobs to fit into my crazy training schedule.

Wow that’s intense! What makes you excited to wake up in the morning?

Life in general makes me excited to wake up. I live with my family so waking up to them every morning is a blessing. Knowing I get to train every morning, afternoon and evening also motivates me to jump out of bed everyday!

So I’ve heard that you’ve recently come back from Thailand. What was it like there?

Yes I have been back from Thailand just over one week now. It was absolutely incredible over there! I cant even put into words how brilliant it was. I stayed in Pattaya for six weeks.

I travelled to Bangkok to compete on one of the weekends I was there.

Unfortunately, I was not able to travel to any other parts or islands of Thailand as I was on a tight training schedule/regime. However, I explored as much as I could.

Pattaya is known as one of the not so picturesque parts of Thailand but it was still beautiful in it’s own way. There were the usual grotty side streets that you get in every town but there was also a beautiful long sandy beach that ran the whole length of the city. The weather was amazing, hot, sunny and blue skies everyday with the occasional downpour (it was monsoon season!).

Thai people are the nicest people I have ever met also! They can’t do enough for you, always happy and smiling, very welcoming and just genuinely happy to help.

The food is one thing I miss alot! So much fresh, delicious fruit and I ate a lot of seafood, all freshly grilled and seasoned, and SO cheap!

So you’d recommend visiting?

I strongly recommend visiting Thailand if you can! It is a life changing destination and there is so much to see and do there. The temples, floating markets, nightlife and food! There is so much of Thailand I am dying to go back and visit next time, especially the little islands you can get boats out to and I had some friends who stayed in Phuket who said it was beautiful, just like the pictures!

Do you have a favourite memory from your time abroad?

The whole experience was amazing and being there solely for a training camp made it very different to your normal holiday or backpacking trip. If I had to pick my favorite memory though I think it would be the weekend trip to Bangkok.

Our fight team went to Bangkok to compete in a jiu-jitsu competition and we all smashed it! Then we went onto watch a fellow team mate fight for the world title in K1 kickboxing and she also won! The atmosphere in the stadium was breath taking! There must have been about 30 of us all screaming at the top of our lungs, waving blue glow sticks in the air!

I was miles away from my family and hadn’t seen my family for six weeks but the team were so supportive and welcoming I felt like I was with my family the whole time. It really was an incredible weekend!

Also, Bangkok is just crazy,whizzing around the city on a tuk tuk laced in fairy lights!

The Roam Blogger is a blog aimed at improving the health and wellbeing of its readership so I wanted to ask whether you had any advice on keeping fit?

I am extremely passionate about the fitness industry and being someone who has been through a very unhealthy/unfit stage of my life I am always advising my friends and family to stay fit! I have lots to say about how to keep fit but my main piece of advice would be to be your own motivation.

Never compare yourself to anyone else.

It is very easy in this day and age with so much social media influence, to look at other people and compare ourselves to their level of fitness, health or aesthetics. Work on yourself every day. Pick one thing that you would like to work on and focus on that one thing at a time. For example, maybe you want to improve your fitness and be able to run for thirty minutes. Start with running for 5 minutes. Then the next time you do it, add another three minutes and keep adding each time until you can run 30 minutes.

Don’t worry if Mrs perfect on the treadmill next to you is running for 45 minutes, we don’t care about her.

Focus on yourself.

Last question: Do you have any advice on how to keep calm in difficult situations?

How do I stay calm in difficult situations is a question that honestly, two years ago I would not have been able to answer because I never used to know how to be calm in any situation.

Since I began training in martial arts I have learnt how to control my emotions and stay calm in any situation, especially in difficult situations.

Everyone is different, but for me, I find it best to take a mental step back from the situation and analyse it before I act upon it. Most of the time we overreact and regret reacting so quickly.

Most situations can be diffused and handled pretty well. Take a few breaths and work it out. Life is too short to be getting frustrated in situations that aren’t worth it.

Thank you Lexi for such an interesting conversation.

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Lexi can be found on Instagram for more motivational fitness, travel & lifestyle posts.

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I hope you enjoyed this short interview and can take away something from it, even if it’s something as simple as where to visit in Thailand, or the short fitness tips. I personally thought Lexi had such enthusiasm for her craft and it provided rejuvenation for my own.

Until next time.