3 am is a time for lonely people, a time for people who over think. Its a time for creatives, those trying to finish a project, too absorbed in their craft to notice the time.

3am is for the party lovers. For the people spilling out of the clubs as they close, not wanting to go home so soon.

Currently, 3am is that tipping point between night and day, when the darkness is at its peak before, as if by magic, the world becomes lighter again. Its a time which feels stuck, almost like a limbo, much like this lockdown.

The silence of this time is simultaneously a blessing but also totally deafening. I fear making a noise too great, it seems unnatural to watch a video or listen to the radio at this time so instead I opt for writing down my thoughts and feelings. Suddenly, 3am starts to feel like a retrospection and things start to fall into place.

3am is a rare time to see. It’s often too late to stay up to and just that bit too early to wake up to.

Obviously there are people out there who work nights and probably see this time quite regularly but I wonder if those people who spend more time in the limbo of the early hours are more at peace because there aren’t as many distractions from the outside world.

3am, in my flat, is currently a place for retrospection and contemplation, a time to miss people and cry until I inevitably fall asleep again or decide to get up and face yet another day in lockdown.

I have only been struggling for a couple of days but there are some of you out there who have been struggling for weeks, months even, as the lockdown continues to disturb regular life.

For those of you who are also up at this time, try a sleep hypnosis podcast. It might seem silly to listen to a calming voice telling you that you are feeling sleepy but for some reason, it works. Whether it’s hearing a different voice, whether it’s because it’s calming and relaxed, or a mixture of things, listening really helped me to stop. It stopped the thinking so I could drift off.

One of the things I learned during my counselling sessions a few years back was the importance of distracting ourselves when our brains start to think of things we cannot control. If we are unable to do anything about our situation, unable to better the situations by actions then the next best thing is to forget about it for a while. Give your brain the much needed rest.

Sure you’ll feel guilty at the beginning, as if somehow taking a break from worrying is going to make the situation worse, but persevere as a break from stress can, more often than not, help us to gather our thoughts when we are more in a place to deal with them.

I hope we all can learn a thing or two about finding inner peace, without meaning to sound too Buddha, and although I don’t wish people to suffer, I also wish people could witness the humbling impact of 3am.

As always, my message box is open if anyone wants to talk, be it on here as a comment or though twitter @kirstyawriter.

I also created a Spotify playlist for sleep which is a mixture of guided meditation and nature sounds for a truly good night’s sleep. You can find it here.

Until next time.

Writing Prompt #25 The Night Sky

If I were a star in the night sky I could look down on all these different stories and I’d never get tired. I mean, I see and hear about things that shock and amaze me from the people around me every day but imagine if you upped the scale and could watch from a distant point of view with the stars.
Someone I know recently changed her job and she hates it but she feels she can’t leave because her husband’s job is currently at risk of redundancy. Their plan is to up and move to America, rent out their house and drive in a motor home with the odd occasional stay in a hotel. They’d work the odd jobs as a waitress or a handyman but at least they’d be together having an adventure.

A close friend of mine recently left her husband of seven years and is now living over 4 hours away with her partner and I’ve never seen her look happier and more comfortable. Sure it comes with its downsides, she’s faced tribulation and drama since she’s been down there but it’s overall been a positive experience for her.

Another has had a miracle baby against all odds, the kind you’d read about in ok magazine.

Another close friend had been single her whole life, up until she was in her twenties when she met her current boyfriend. He was diagnosed with cancer months after they got together officially. This, among other contributing factors, has inspired her to go into nursing, specifically oncology.
The common denominator between all these examples is everyone’s sheer determination to get what they want: adventure, a new life, a baby, a career. It makes me assess the things I want from life but all I can say a hundred and ten percent is that I want very much to experience as much life as possible and have the ability to write about it.

Sometimes life throws curveballs, it doesn’t work out the way you expect it to. If you asked thirteen year old me where I expected to be, you’d get some star spangled response about being the next Avril Lavigne. Obviously that hasn’t happened as I’ve developed as a person and with that my motivations have changed.
It’s been six years since I turned eighteen and I’ve already had quite a few experiences: I’ve been on a fishing boat off the coast of Minorca during a storm, squeezed my way through the Parisian Metro barriers to meet my flight on time, ridden a horse in Dorset, swam in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Albuferia, stayed in a cabin in Nottingham forest (and cried at Titanic), I’ve helped build a bender tent from sticks and tarpaulin and camped out with a bunch of hippies for a week.

Alongside this, I have a whole heap of story ideas, romance books (of which I’ve written one and started two more), paranormal and urban fantasy novels about a whole host of characters (inspired by True Blood among other series) so I am not without imagination.

I’m sure there are others of you out there that feel the same way and I’d love to hear your stories. Disclaimer! Anything you do say to me may inspire my writing, be that a character in a story, a plot line, or a mention like in this piece.

Maybe I have the wrong perspective on the stars. I may want to be up there with them looking down, but maybe they want to be down here looking up. If that isn’t a metaphor for something then I’m not sure what is.