Reinventing Yourself & Coping With A New Direction

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we expect them to. You might have a grand plan in your head of which path you’ve chosen for your life but a strong wind has turned your sail and suddenly you’re facing a different direction. You might battle against the wind, try to get back on course, but sometimes the wind is too strong. So we learn to accept our new course, we plod through each day with a new perspective on life.

We might feel saddened that our old life is no longer before us, we might even cry from time to time, thoughts of shattered hopes and dreams clear in the forefront of our minds.

You might lure yourself into a false sense of security that one day things might be different, that your old life will resurface and things will be better, but you know deep down that this is a coping mechanism to help you get through the bad days.

Obviously we never know what the future may hold. Some reminders of our old life are bound to resurface around us, a bit like as if we were on a boat in the middle of a shipwreck. Floating debris bob up to greet us, some may even get close enough to scrape the side of our boat and if there are survivors then you know damn well we’re right there pulling them aboard. It’s inevitable when your life was so important to you, that aspects of it will still be present but it’s our actions and how we proceed which determines what kind of person we are.

This being in lockdown is bizarre. It’s simultaneously the best time and worst time for reinvention and starting a new course. On one hand we have effectively broken all of our patterns and are in a changed position anyway, which means that we will have to not only start this new course during lockdown but also figure out where this new path is taking us when everything returns to some sense of normality so its almost like starting again twice. On the other hand, lockdown is a chance to get things done retrospectively, without outside influences.

Starting a new course is scary, especially when you have been forced into a new direction, but we can do it. We can make the best of a bad situation and we may even end up on top, living a better life than before.

Sometimes we will have moments of confusion and others of clarity. We’re human. We’re allowed to feel these things. We want to know why the thing has happened but also we know why and accept it, sometimes. We might get angry and our bodies might suffer with the consequence of sadness, but its important to remember that tough situations don’t last but tough people do.

Until next time.

3am

3 am is a time for lonely people, a time for people who over think. Its a time for creatives, those trying to finish a project, too absorbed in their craft to notice the time.

3am is for the party lovers. For the people spilling out of the clubs as they close, not wanting to go home so soon.

Currently, 3am is that tipping point between night and day, when the darkness is at its peak before, as if by magic, the world becomes lighter again. Its a time which feels stuck, almost like a limbo, much like this lockdown.

The silence of this time is simultaneously a blessing but also totally deafening. I fear making a noise too great, it seems unnatural to watch a video or listen to the radio at this time so instead I opt for writing down my thoughts and feelings. Suddenly, 3am starts to feel like a retrospection and things start to fall into place.

3am is a rare time to see. It’s often too late to stay up to and just that bit too early to wake up to.

Obviously there are people out there who work nights and probably see this time quite regularly but I wonder if those people who spend more time in the limbo of the early hours are more at peace because there aren’t as many distractions from the outside world.

3am, in my flat, is currently a place for retrospection and contemplation, a time to miss people and cry until I inevitably fall asleep again or decide to get up and face yet another day in lockdown.

I have only been struggling for a couple of days but there are some of you out there who have been struggling for weeks, months even, as the lockdown continues to disturb regular life.

For those of you who are also up at this time, try a sleep hypnosis podcast. It might seem silly to listen to a calming voice telling you that you are feeling sleepy but for some reason, it works. Whether it’s hearing a different voice, whether it’s because it’s calming and relaxed, or a mixture of things, listening really helped me to stop. It stopped the thinking so I could drift off.

One of the things I learned during my counselling sessions a few years back was the importance of distracting ourselves when our brains start to think of things we cannot control. If we are unable to do anything about our situation, unable to better the situations by actions then the next best thing is to forget about it for a while. Give your brain the much needed rest.

Sure you’ll feel guilty at the beginning, as if somehow taking a break from worrying is going to make the situation worse, but persevere as a break from stress can, more often than not, help us to gather our thoughts when we are more in a place to deal with them.

I hope we all can learn a thing or two about finding inner peace, without meaning to sound too Buddha, and although I don’t wish people to suffer, I also wish people could witness the humbling impact of 3am.

As always, my message box is open if anyone wants to talk, be it on here as a comment or though twitter @kirstyawriter.

I also created a Spotify playlist for sleep which is a mixture of guided meditation and nature sounds for a truly good night’s sleep. You can find it here.

Until next time.

Worried About Lockdown? Us Too.

For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis (shout out to Mum and Dad), will know that this blog is all about promoting the mental wellbeing of my readers by offering inspiring real life content and motivational pieces.

In the flesh, I’m no different. Unsatisfied unless I’ve done something productive in my day, I try and encourage mental wellbeing in both myself and my partner Darren. However, sometimes I need help and Darren, his sister Louise and my family have all been there to support me in this difficult time.

It goes to show that everyone needs help from time to time and just because your friend or family member seems to have their life in order, things may not always be as peachy as they appear.

I have worries and concerns everyday about a whole host of things, mainly financial due to losing my full time job as a product lister for an eCommerce brand, but I do my best to plod through. We deal with the hand we’re dealt and although sometimes it feels like a lot of others have landed on their feet where I keep stumbling and falling over, I keep moving forward because that’s all I can do.

However dark things may seem at the moment, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Watching Darren progress at learning the ukulele and seeing the chord progression finally click in his brain yesterday was super encouraging and I am so proud of him.

It’s definitely true that other people’s energies reflect onto you and vice versa and as we carry on like the good Brits we are, I do feel hopeful, regardless of my worries. We will return to our new normal one day but for now, we should be making the best of things.

Things will have a habit of working themselves out, we just have to believe it so.

Until next time.

Dreams: The Gateway to Balance

Guest Post by Kelly Lydick

There is so much information out there on how to be or become healthy, and how to balance the facets of life. It’s easy to look at diet and exercise, or how much screen time you consume, or how to meditate to manage stress, but people don’t always think about looking at their dreams as a path to wellness.

All my life I have been an active dreamer. I’ve religiously kept a journal about my dreams and read many, many books on the topic. My long-time favorite has always been Betty Bethard’s The Dream Book, a simple dictionary-like book with a Jungian slant.

Over the years, I have amassed notebook after notebook with details on my dreams, my interpretation of my dreams, and other missives. Years ago, at the recommendation of a friend, I decided to begin studying mysticism with a Rabbi. Shortly thereafter, I decided to attend graduate school for creative writing.

It was then that I realized that the ancient mystics who knew well the mysteries of the unseen, believed that our perception of dreams was merely one of limited view—that if we were to look more deeply at the world, we would see that the waking life and the dream life were like mirrored reflections of one another. And, that peering into the mysteries of the unseen would require that we understand that waking life and dreaming life are nearly reversed.

So I started to write about it. Soon, I found that my master’s thesis was already underway, this study of the mysteries of the universe at the helm of a ship, which I certainly was not navigating. I finished my master’s thesis in record time, sent it off to a publisher, and got word back that the publisher wanted to publish my thesis as a book. It happened in record time, and Mastering the Dream was released late in 2007.

Just when my speaking engagements were at their height, I started to feel tired. Too tired to do very much. My head hurt, and I was woozy. My blood sugar went up and down, my heart rate was too high, I felt out of sorts, and didn’t know what to do. I had just recorded a radio segment for NPR & KQED’s The Writers’ Block, and the next morning, I could barely get out of bed.

I called my doctor who soon thereafter told me that I had an extreme imbalance in my metabolic system. I had, in fact, been very sick—so sick that I couldn’t sleep, I could barely walk without getting winded, and my mind was feeling pretty foggy. It was one of the scariest times in my life.

And there I was those years ago, at a loss for what to do to bring wellness back into my life. So I did the thing that I knew how to do—consult my dreams. And it ended up changing my life.

My sleep was interrupted, so I dreamt little during this time, but the dreams I did have seemed profound. They were pointing the way, showing me my path, and guiding me back to wellness.

I enlisted the help of a metaphysical healer. My health started to improve, and I continued to dream and journal my dreams. I knew that I needed to dig deeper to bring balance back to my body, so I started searching for the right program to propel me forward. I was doing deep inner work on my mind, my body, and my emotions, and I knew I was ready for a breakthrough.

By synchronicity, I happened to stumble upon Denise Linn’s Gateway Dreaming™ professional certification course, and I immediately knew this was the exact right thing for me. I registered for the program, and went back to my dream journal eager to see the signs of a new beginning, a new path to balance, wellness, and health.

I started incubating my dreams, a technique I now teach to others, and began the process of inquiry through my dreams. My health continued to improve. I started meditating daily, and became committed to balanced health. I knew that the mind–body–spirit connection was the right way, and Denise’s program reconfirmed this. I continued my studies with my Rabbi.

As I continued to inquire into my dreams, I saw the outward results. I confronted things about myself I didn’t want to admit, much less change. I vastly modified my diet and cut out caffeine and alcohol, and most sugar. I continued to consult my dreams.

About halfway through the program, something inside me shifted. I was reclaiming the lost parts of myself that I had long forgotten, denied, or hadn’t yet gotten to know. My health improved and I stayed the course.

Six months later, I found myself at the end of the dreaming journey with Denise and my cohort. I didn’t feel ready to be done and I didn’t want it to end. I had come too far and made too many changes. I was fearful of what would happen when I didn’t have the support of the group. But I continued to dream, and continued to journal my dreams, and they continued to provide the answers to every question I had, from dietary recommendations to the existential.

It was a short bit of time before I started working directly with clients and their dreams, as I continued to be propelled into further training, study, and professional-level work in other areas. But it was always the dreamscape that continued to anchor any other modalities with which I decided to work.

There is something that happens in a person, when they choose to directly engage with their dreamscape. It’s a vast world, but it’s also the gateway to the subconscious, the part of the mind that often runs the show behind the scenes, so to speak. Without this engagement in the dream world, there remains a missing piece in the path to wellness. Part of the mind–body–spirit connection necessarily must include dreams as dreams reflect our emotions, are products of our mind and spirit, and act as a conduit to the world of the unseen. They are, in my best estimation, the quickest way to the deepest level of self-understanding possible. And without self-understanding, balance and wellness can be very challenging.

If you’re looking to achieve balance and optimal wellness in a holistic way, here’s what I recommend:

  • Begin paying attention to your dreams. Start keeping a dream journal, and write in it as often as possible. Look to the symbols of your dreams to guide your way. Ask your dreams to provide you with the wisdom that will support your path.
  • Create a dreaming ritual on a weekly basis. Dreams are essential for mental and emotional health and well-being. They give an opportunity to process our life’s events each night when we retire to sleep. Devoting time to your dreams will help create balance in the waking life.
  • Commit to a meditation regimen. Give yourself a break and allow yourself the time to tune in. We all have stressors in our life, it’s how we handle them that counts.
  • Tune in to what you know is true in your heart. Walk your talk, and remain dedicated to the deepest most authentic expression of who you are. Let the world see this core of you every day.
  • Ditch the drama. Healthy people do not thrive in environments of drama and high-conflict. But, they don’t run from them either. If you find yourself involved in situations that resemble a soap opera, find the right strategies to manage these situations, and reduce the impact they have on your life.
  • Evaluate your daily habits, including your diet. Junky food will make your body feel like junk. Too much screen time is proven to make people more irritable and angry. Also, determine your time wasters, and reduce or eliminate them as best as possible.
  • Take care of your mind and your emotions. Take the time you need to process the events of life and use this information to make good decisions about your future.
  • Dream, dream, and dream some more. Not just during sleep, but while you’re awake. Get in touch with the exact things you want to do in this life. And get out there and do them.

 


For more wellbeing & spirituality posts from Kelly, please visit her website here.

If you would like to submit your guest post to the blog then please get in touch at roamblogger@gmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!