Reinventing Yourself & Coping With A New Direction

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we expect them to. You might have a grand plan in your head of which path you’ve chosen for your life but a strong wind has turned your sail and suddenly you’re facing a different direction. You might battle against the wind, try to get back on course, but sometimes the wind is too strong. So we learn to accept our new course, we plod through each day with a new perspective on life.

We might feel saddened that our old life is no longer before us, we might even cry from time to time, thoughts of shattered hopes and dreams clear in the forefront of our minds.

You might lure yourself into a false sense of security that one day things might be different, that your old life will resurface and things will be better, but you know deep down that this is a coping mechanism to help you get through the bad days.

Obviously we never know what the future may hold. Some reminders of our old life are bound to resurface around us, a bit like as if we were on a boat in the middle of a shipwreck. Floating debris bob up to greet us, some may even get close enough to scrape the side of our boat and if there are survivors then you know damn well we’re right there pulling them aboard. It’s inevitable when your life was so important to you, that aspects of it will still be present but it’s our actions and how we proceed which determines what kind of person we are.

This being in lockdown is bizarre. It’s simultaneously the best time and worst time for reinvention and starting a new course. On one hand we have effectively broken all of our patterns and are in a changed position anyway, which means that we will have to not only start this new course during lockdown but also figure out where this new path is taking us when everything returns to some sense of normality so its almost like starting again twice. On the other hand, lockdown is a chance to get things done retrospectively, without outside influences.

Starting a new course is scary, especially when you have been forced into a new direction, but we can do it. We can make the best of a bad situation and we may even end up on top, living a better life than before.

Sometimes we will have moments of confusion and others of clarity. We’re human. We’re allowed to feel these things. We want to know why the thing has happened but also we know why and accept it, sometimes. We might get angry and our bodies might suffer with the consequence of sadness, but its important to remember that tough situations don’t last but tough people do.

Until next time.

Benefits Of PMA And How They Can Help To Grow Your Business

Being surrounded by positive mental attitudes (PMA) or simply people who inspire you can help massively with your personal ‘get up and go’. Similarly, the opposite attitudes can have detrimental effects.

Even the most positive people can be impacted by negative attitudes around them, in fact, research shows that it can impact us in such a way that it can reduce our immune system which is why when we feel more down, we are more likely to catch a cold, or get sick.

Positive attitudes also impact our wellbeing. Studies show that people who experience more positive emotions are more likely to maintain warm and lasting relationships.

Yesterday I was in discussions with a fellow entrepreneur, Andrew Campbell, who is the owner and founder of a carpet cleaning company ATR Carpet Cleaning. During our discussions I realised that I needed more people in my life like Andy as he has been a massive encouragement in my career development and has made me believe in my dreams to grow my own business doing something I love.

So I’ve decided I want to grow this community, and in the last week I have reached my personal goal of 100 follows on Facebook and can now look to reaching another milestone with active social media and networking plans.

Obviously, I want as many people to know The RoamBlogger as I can.

The more people who know that The RoamBlogger is a wall mural and canvas art business with staff who have classical technical art training with degrees and projects under their belts, the more people who might feel inclined to ask for a quote, and the more people who offer The RoamBlogger jobs, the more we can progress and the more I can offer you wonderful readers.

For instance, if you didn’t know, my canvas art is commission based, meaning that if you want something specific and original designed for your home or your workplace, we can complete this for you.

You can see examples of The RoamBlogger’s previous work here and for the month of November, if you quote TOOEARLYFORXMAS we can knock 10% off your order.

I really hope we can build this community into a positive and welcoming environment so we can all share in the motivational outbursts like the one I’ve had this week.

Until next time.

Life Update: Where Are We Now?

As I keep saying to my boyfriend Darren, this year is a year of firsts. From the blog perspective, this means trying videos on my posts, and social media tactics I wouldn’t have tried prior to this year. It also means trying online shopping properly for the first time. From a business perspective it means taking on creative projects like art installations for The Mad Catter Vintage Cat Cafe in Eastbourne which is proving to be both intellectually stimulating as well as encouraging my imagination.

As previously mentioned, I am still struggling with the work/life balance, however weekends are now proving to be both productive as well as socially recharging.

This year has been a year of firsts but it’s also been a rollercoaster ride of events. From breaking down on our way to Chessington last week, to travelling to Portugal in March, to spending time developing my creative business and having opportunities to do so has meant this year has been a mixed bag of ups and downs. This year has seen death but it has also seen an abundance of life and passion, love and creativity and has shown me that it can be one big surprise, one after the next.

I am blessed to be able to say that I have lived life to the fullest, I have had adventure after adventure and have created memories which will last a lifetime.

While I look around, I see that the most fulfilled people are the people who have explored their passions and followed their dreams. My brother is now working in Ireland doing what he wants to do, Lucy is opening her cat café next month, Louise is about to pop a baby out, Andy is getting married, Ruth has successfully moved house, and I am so incredibly proud of all them and wish them all the best during their adventures.

Whether you have had a small or large life success we should learn to celebrate these. It is also worthwhile celebrating the life successes of others, as we should be able to celebrate and be happy for those of us around us.

I hope that the rest of this year will be as fruitful and as we creep into the darker, more dismal months of the year, I hope we can all keep our sights on our best futures, our new and existing adventures and grow into wonderfully enriched adults with a whole host of memories under our belts.

Until next time.

It’s not just about the Pink T-shirt, it’s about Changing Your Attitude

Guest Writing Prompt: “Write about a recent conflict”  

Inspiration: Pink Shirt Day

By Tish MacWebber

I remember coming home from school, crying when I was five. Someone was mean. Dad talked to me.  He showed me how to make a fist, and to not put my thumb under my fingers.  Then he held up his arm and swung across, it was a right hook he was showing me, so I could punch someone in the nose.  He said, “  If you miss them on the way over, get them on the way back.”  Meaning that if I swung and missed with my fist, my elbow could be used in the opposite direction to land the punch.  My younger sister was there, and she said, “Just point them out to me when I get to school, Tish, and I’ll bop them on the nose for you.” Dad meant well. I never used that lesson, but I remember.  

The bullying in school never stopped.  I did my best to ignore it.  When I see a select few again, now that we’re adults, I hope I can be the person I think I am and be rational.  Unless they try to start something,  at which point I will respond. That would cause the uncorking of a bottle of thirty years of anger, hurt feelings, and frustration.  I would not want to be the person who pops that cork.  Somebody might lose an eye.

When I entered the workforce,  I experienced new bullies.

While working in a doughnut shop, I was slapped on the hand for offering a dog a treat, because the supply was low.  We would hand out timbits to dogs in the drive through.  The customer saw the whole thing, gave me a larger tip than normal, and told me to put it in my pocket.

When I worked at a fast food restaurant,  there was a supervisor that liked to harass employees while they worked. One day I finally had enough.  I was being yelled at about how to properly wash and sanitize the dishes.  I looked at him and told him to fuck off.  He asked me to repeat myself.  So I did, and it was louder the second time, followed with me yelling back that after working there for two years, I knew what I was doing, and he needed to fuck off.  That was the last time he got in my face, and I didn’t work there much longer.

I worked at a hospital for three years. My poor self-esteem allowed me to be bullied by both management and co-workers.  One day, I was waiting in the car for my husband, and he found me crying.  I was so upset by my situation that I was in the car, crying and praying for God to kill me or her, meaning my boss at the time.  My husband told me to quit.  My mental health was more important than money.  I had been offered a layoff from the casual position and took it.  

Since then, some colleagues have said that they felt bad because they knew I was not being treated fairly.  In retrospect, it’s too bad that none of us knew what to do to make things better, back then. Hindsight is 20/20, eh?

I now work in a call center. I’ve had run-ins with my supervisors, and management.  I’ve changed.  I learned how to speak with confidence.  That combined with learning how to negotiate, gave me the tools I needed to stand up for myself.  I don’t avoid confrontation anymore.  I face it, head on.  Sometimes it scares the crap out of me, but I do it; while shaking in my boots.  

How do I face conflict now?  Instead of using words to hurt people, I aim to help and inspire.  I use my brain for good not evil.  Sometimes with an unexpected twist of humour to sway the balance. I stand my ground.   If I can find a way to handle conflict and bullies, anyone can.  It only took me a couple of decades to figure it out. The first step is to learn to believe in yourself.

The last Wednesday in February is pink shirt day in Canada. In a high school in Nova Scotia, a boy was bullied for wearing a pink shirt; two students bought more pink t-shirts, and they distributed them to their friends, to show the boy support. It was newsworthy when it happened. Now Canadians wear pink shirts to raise awareness about anti-bullying.

I bought my pink shirts in support of the local Boys and Girls Club. This year it says, “Kindness begins with me.”  Last year it said, “Positive Actions Make Positive Change.” I don’t believe the saying, “Kids are mean.”  I do believe that bullies can change, just like I as a victim did.  I lead by example, and if we stand together, that’s two against one.  I like those odds.


 

N.B Further to my previous post about community, this is a perfect example of helping your fellow human being. Education and an increased level of empathy will help us all to grow as individuals.

Find more of Tish’s blog posts here.

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